has been is hard to face our move to Gaithersburg. Giving up our life in the city has left me feeling like I am breaking up with someone I still love. We’ve made three trips out since signing our lease – two moving a few boxes over, and one to paint the bedroom. Each trip has brought me to tears. I am not inclined, I don’t think anyway, to be melodramatic (though for what it’s worth, tears are closer to the surface since having a baby – postpartum hormones I assume). I’ve sobbed every.single.trip.
Every other time I’ve moved, it has been for an opportunity or for love of the place. I can only remember one time I was heartbroken about a move – my parents bought a dark little ranch house in the country, and we left our bright, spacious rental with its swimming pool and proximity to my friends and our activities for a little acreage on top of a hill 15 miles from town. That house – after a lot of remodeling – was a great place to live. We really made the place our own. I planted myriad daffodils (they still thrive today,
fifteen several years later!) and my family built a barn together from lumber we salvaged over many weekends. I cut nearly every board of the hayloft myself. We raised sheep whose wool I spun. Four of my siblings came home to us there. And I didn’t lose my friends. We built another pool. I cried the day I moved away.
The point is, even a bleak move holds promise. Life goes on and it’s LIFE, not the PLACE, that makes it home. I don’t want to stay long in Gaithersburg, and I don’t expect to like most of the circumstances of life in the suburbs (so many blasted parking lots! you see more cars than people there!) but the days spent there ARE my life. I don’t get to suspend things till we can come back the city. I have a very good-natured baby who deserves a happy mom, and a hard-working husband who deserves a wife that doesn’t bring him down. Regardless of how I like my circumstances, I am the one who makes their circumstances either great or terrible.
Whatever else… I’ve got my gray bedroom, so I can wake up with a smile.