Facing the move

Park Station Apartments... home sweet home

It has been is hard to face our move to Gaithersburg. Giving up our life in the city has left me feeling like I am breaking up with someone I still love. We’ve made three trips out since signing our lease – two moving a few boxes over, and one to paint the bedroom. Each trip has brought me to tears. I am not inclined, I don’t think anyway, to be melodramatic (though for what it’s worth, tears are closer to the surface since  having a baby – postpartum hormones I assume). I’ve sobbed every.single.trip.

Every other time I’ve moved, it has been for an opportunity or for love of the place. I can only remember one time I was heartbroken about a move – my parents bought a dark little ranch house in the country, and we left our bright, spacious rental with its swimming pool and proximity to my friends and our activities for a little acreage on top of a hill 15 miles from town.  That house – after a lot of remodeling – was a great place to live. We really made the place our own. I planted myriad daffodils (they still thrive today, fifteen several years later!) and my family built a barn together from lumber we salvaged over many weekends. I cut nearly every board of the hayloft myself. We raised sheep whose wool I spun. Four of my siblings came home to us there. And I didn’t lose my friends. We built another pool. I cried the day I moved away.

The point is, even a bleak move holds promise. Life goes on and it’s LIFE, not the PLACE, that makes it home. I don’t want to stay long in Gaithersburg, and I don’t expect to like most of the circumstances of life in the suburbs (so many blasted parking lots! you see more cars than people there!) but the days spent there ARE my life. I don’t get to suspend things till we can come back the city. I have a  very good-natured baby who deserves a happy mom, and a hard-working husband  who deserves a wife that doesn’t bring him down. Regardless of how I like my circumstances, I am the one who makes their circumstances either great or terrible.

Whatever else… I’ve got my gray bedroom, so I can wake up with a smile.

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10 responses to “Facing the move

  • memyselfandkids

    My wife and I moved out of Manhattan after our first son was born. We felt he needed to have his own room (actually, we wanted the living room back as well) and we wanted to have more children. i hung out in Central Park till the movers were ready to drive off. I still miss the city but I have come to enjoy the quiet of the suburbs. I wish we could find the time to be in the city more often.

    • DragonKat

      Thanks for the encouragement! My good friends lived in the Lower East Side, then moved to Brooklyn (I don’t know the Brooklyn neighborhoods but when we visited, it was still very “city”). They’re now expecting their first baby and moved farther out in Brooklyn for more space. As I understand it, they can still walk to a subway. For me, that’s kind of the defining point: can you conveniently access public transit? If you HAVE to take a bus to the metro, is it an ‘every ten minutes’ kind of bus or an ‘every hour’ kind of bus… big difference. We’ll be a bus ride or car drive from the END OF THE LINE metro station. That’s part of why it feels SO VERY FAR away. Still, it’s at least in spitting distance. The next town up ain’t got no metro. I’m moving the the frontier.

  • Stagemonkey

    I think you’re glossing over the bonuses of the move. There’s more space (for us and Del), it shaves two hours a day off of your husband’s commute (time that would be better spent with you and Del), and will be significantly cheaper in rent, utilities, gas in the car, etc. (which is necessary if you’re pursuing freelance photography and staying home with Del). We’re giving up a lot, but we (and especially our little munchkin man) are gaining a lot too. Sure, it’s the burbs compared to where we are, but we’ve lived in places (both as a couple and apart) that were way less “near things” than the new apartment will be.

    It’s a different scene, but it’s ours to make what we will of it.

    • DragonKat

      In this post, yeah. But I talked about the bonuses in the earlier post about our move. I’m allowed to whine. My grief is real. It will take me some time of enjoying the benefits to get over what I’m going to miss.

      Make what we will of it? We can add three stops to the red line, put in some decent restaurants, and move the grocery store closer? YAY!!!

      *live husband just looked over my shoulder and said “I’m tired of your griping.”*

  • Anna

    Gray bedrooms help. One thing I recommend: once you’re there, walk half an hour in each direction and see if there’s anything on the way. Things I thought were too far to walk to are actually much closer than I thought! (Although I don’t know your neighborhood, of course)

    • DragonKat

      Good advice, Anna. I will do that. I’ve done a little driving that was not rewarding but there are some unexplored directions yet. 🙂 And yes, gray bedroom = happiness. I’ll post pics once we’re moved in.

  • Amanda

    Katie, I so relate to this, and I bet Jordan would relate to Zach — for me, and it seems for you, home is emotional, not just practical. We can intellectually acknowledge the benefits of a place (lower rent etc) but if the environment doesn’t FEEL right… it’s very hard to shake that (for me, at least). But as you so eloquently say, “Life goes on and it’s LIFE, not the PLACE, that makes it home.” And as you also eloquently say, “the days spent there ARE my life. I don’t get to suspend things till we can come back the city. I have a very good-natured baby who deserves a happy mom, and a hard-working husband who deserves a wife that doesn’t bring him down. Regardless of how I like my circumstances, I am the one who makes their circumstances either great or terrible.” Yes. Amen. Paint the bedroom, put fresh flowers in a vase, hang art that makes you happy, cook delicious food on the stove, crack open a bottle of wine, snuggle your baby, snuggle your husband, go for walks, go into the city together on the weekends, and ENJOY 🙂

    • DragonKat

      Thanks so much Amanda! I think I will feel better once we’re there and I can settle in. Was great to see you this weekend!

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